var QQQ=new Array()
QQQ[0] = "Oops, I can\'t think of a quote!";
QQQ[1] = "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!"; 
QQQ[2] = "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?";
QQQ[3] = "When everything\'s coming your way, you\'re in the wrong lane!";
QQQ[4] = "Defeat isn\'t bitter if you don\'t swallow it.";
QQQ[5] = "We all have a photographic memory. Some just don\'t have film!";
QQQ[6] = "It doesn\'t matter what temperature the room is, it\'s always room temperature.";
QQQ[7] = "If you can\'t beat them, join them and then beat them!";
QQQ[8] = "The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.";
QQQ[9] = "Perfection is not optional.";
QQQ[10] = "If anything can go wrong, fix it. To hell with Murphy!";
QQQ[11] = "The squeaky wheel gets replaced.";
QQQ[12] = "Two rules to success in life:<br>1. Don't tell people everything you know.<br>2. ...";
QQQ[13] = "How come wrong numbers are never busy?";
QQQ[14] = "People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who actually do!";
QQQ[15] = "Sometimes you\'re the bug, and sometimes you\'re the windshield.";
QQQ[16] = "The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.";
QQQ[17] = "The secret of success is sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you\'ve it made.";
QQQ[18] = "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!";
QQQ[19] = "You\'re getting old when your top three favourite pastimes involve sleep.";
QQQ[20] = "You\'re getting old when your sentences begin with, \"When I was your age...\"";
QQQ[21] = "If you\'re not part of the solution, you ARE the problem.";
QQQ[22] = "What\'s another word for Thesaurus?";
QQQ[23] = "After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?";
QQQ[24] = "Individually, ants are stupid... together, they\'re brilliANT.";
QQQ[25] = "My favorite PC error message: \"No keyboard detected. Press F1 to continue.\"";
QQQ[26] = "I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.";
QQQ[27] = "Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?";
QQQ[28] = "The Box said \"Windows XP, Vista or better needed\"  so I bought a Mac!";
QQQ[29] = "I\'ll never forget the first time I used Windows, but I\'m trying...";
QQQ[30] = "If Windows is so user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual?";
QQQ[31] = "If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.";
QQQ[32] = "For a real sponge cake, should you borrow all the ingredients?";
QQQ[33] = "Bacon and eggs - Hens are involved but pigs are committed.";
QQQ[34] = "Is Originality the art of concealing your sources?";
QQQ[35] = "Are paper clips the larval stage of coat hangers?";
QQQ[36] = "Democracy - Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.";
QQQ[37] = "Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right.";
QQQ[38] = "Don\'t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.";
QQQ[39] = "If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer. ";
QQQ[40] = "Advice is free: The right answer costs plenty.";
QQQ[41] = "Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!";
QQQ[42] = "Excuses are easy to manufacture, but the hardest things to sell.";
QQQ[43] = "A conclusion is usually where you got tired of thinking.";
QQQ[44] = "War never decides who is right, only who is left.";
QQQ[45] = "Would a crowded elevator smell different to a midget?";
QQQ[46] = "My life has a superb cast, now if only I had the plot.";
QQQ[47] = "Eagles may soar, but frogs don\'t get sucked into jet engines.";
QQQ[48] = "Bacteria is the only culture some people have.";
QQQ[49] = "Beauty\'s only skin deep, ugly goes all the way to the bone.";
QQQ[50] = "If feet are kept firmly on the ground wouldn\'t you have trouble putting on pants?";
QQQ[51] = "Share what you know. Learn what you don\'t.";
QQQ[52] = "Fear is a thief, it steals our todays while we worry about tomorrow!";
QQQ[53] = "People who don\'t make mistakes usually don\'t make anything.";
QQQ[54] = "Keep your mouth shut, and look like a fool? Or open your mouth, and remove all doubt!";
QQQ[55] = "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine!";
QQQ[56] = "You can choose your friends but not your relatives.";
QQQ[57] = "Your freedom stops where it infringes on somebody else\'s.";
QQQ[58] = "Pain is temporary, pride is forever.";
QQQ[59] = "You lose 100 percent of the races you don't start.";
QQQ[60] = "Failure is fate hinting that you\'re going the wrong way.";
QQQ[61] = "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!";
QQQ[62] = "I\'m not afraid of death, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.";
QQQ[63] = "I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll make an exception.";
QQQ[64] = "Truth is hard to find and harder to obscure.";
QQQ[65] = "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.";
QQQ[66] = "Your true value depends entirely on who or what you are compared with.";
QQQ[67] = "No person is great or small other than by comparison.";
QQQ[68] = "A woman\'s work is never done, that\'s why a man\'s gotta do it!";
QQQ[69] = "Sometimes you\'re the nail, sometimes you\'re the hammer.";
QQQ[70] = "What goes up a downpipe \'down\' but won\'t go down a downpipe \'up\'?";
QQQ[71] = "The easiest way to kill time is to work it to death.";
QQQ[72] = "Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what\'s right.";
QQQ[73] = "Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice.";
QQQ[74] = "In taking revenge, a man is merely even with his enemy, but in passing it over, he is superior.";
QQQ[75] = "I was always taught to respect my elders but I\'ve now reached the age where I don\'t have anybody to respect.";
QQQ[76] = "Any fine morning, a power saw can fell a tree that took a thousand years to grow.";
QQQ[77] = "A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.";
QQQ[78] = "To err is human, but to really stuff things up requires a computer.";
QQQ[79] = "Don\'t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.";
QQQ[80] = "Life is really simple, we ourselves create the circumstances that complicate it.";
QQQ[81] = "A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman.";
QQQ[82] = "The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.";
QQQ[83] = "A bore is a person who, when you ask how they are, tell you.";
QQQ[84] = "Never argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level then beat you with experience.";
QQQ[85] = "There is nothing that dulls a personality so much as a negative outlook.";
QQQ[86] = "Whatever advice you give, be brief.";
QQQ[87] = "Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lessons afterwards.";
QQQ[88] = "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do all three.";
QQQ[89] = "A fanatic is one who can\'t change his mind and won\'t change the subject.";
QQQ[90] = "Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it also cures.";
QQQ[91] = "Only the mediocre are always at their best.";
QQQ[92] = "Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all.";
QQQ[93] = "Sometimes it\'s holding on that makes one strong, sometimes it\'s letting go.";
QQQ[94] = "Normal is not something to aspire to, it\'s something to get away from.";
QQQ[95] = "I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.";
QQQ[96] = "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.";
QQQ[97] = "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.";
QQQ[98] = "The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.";
QQQ[99] = "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.";
QQQ[100] = "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.<br>But... Don't cross the bridge until you come to it.";
QQQ[101] = "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.<br>But... Out of sight, out of mind.";
QQQ[102] = "The pen is mightier than the sword.<br>But... Actions speak louder than words.";
QQQ[103] = "Birds of a feather flock together.<br>But... Opposites attract.";
QQQ[104] = "The squeaky wheel gets the grease.<br>But... Silence is golden.";
QQQ[105] = "Don\'t look a gift horse in the mouth.<br>But... Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.";
QQQ[106] = "It\'s better to be safe than sorry.<br>But... Nothing ventured, nothing gained.";
QQQ[107] = "Don\'t judge a book by its cover.<br>But... Clothes make the man.";
QQQ[108] = "Look before you leap.<br>But... He who hesitates is lost.";
QQQ[109] = "A word to the wise is sufficient.<br>But... Talk is cheap.";
QQQ[110] = "You\'re never too old to learn.<br>But... You can\'t teach an old dog new tricks.";
QQQ[111] = "Many hands make light work.<br>But... Too many cooks spoil the broth.";
QQQ[112] = "Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.";
QQQ[113] = "Love truth, but pardon error.";
QQQ[114] = "Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.";
QQQ[115] = "I once read that drinking is harmful to my health. So I stopped reading.";
QQQ[116] = "Not forgiving someone is like eating poison and waiting for them to die.";
QQQ[117] = "If you look like your passport photo, you are not well enough to travel.";
QQQ[118] = "When you are talking, you are not learning anything!";
QQQ[119] = "If you\'ve made up your mind you can\'t do something, you\'re absolutely right.";
QQQ[120] = "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.";
QQQ[121] = "Make the rules or your rivals will!"; 
QQQ[122] = "The soul would have no rainbow, had the eyes no tears."; 
QQQ[123] = "Never take sleeping pills and a laxative on the same night."; 
QQQ[124] = "Never raise up more demons than you can lay down."; 
QQQ[125] = "The hurrier you go, the behinder you get."; 
QQQ[126] = "Time becomes meaningless in the face of creativity.";
QQQ[127] = "Runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.";
QQQ[128] = "Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.";
QQQ[129] = "A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.";
QQQ[130] = "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.";
QQQ[131] = "The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.";
QQQ[132] = "A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.";
QQQ[133] = "Silent gratitude is not very much use to anyone.";
QQQ[134] = "War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace.";
QQQ[135] = "Where are we going and why are we in this hand-basket?";
QQQ[136] = "Romanian saying: You learn all your life, then you die stupid!";
QQQ[137] = "Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.";
QQQ[138] = "42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.";
QQQ[139] = "All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.";
QQQ[140] = "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.";
QQQ[141] = "If you enjoyed yourself wasting time, it was not time wasted.";
QQQ[142] = "Regret is insight that comes a day too late.";
QQQ[143] = "Stop procrastinating? - I\'ll start tomorrow.";
QQQ[144] = "Ignorance and Apathy - I don\'t know and I don\'t care!";
QQQ[145] = "It is not worth an intelligent person\'s time to be in the majority. By definition, there\'s already enough people to do that.";
QQQ[146] = "Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.";
QQQ[147] = "Those are my principles, and if you don\'t like them... well, I have others.";
QQQ[148] = "Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don\'t.";
QQQ[149] = "Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.";
QQQ[150] = "Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.";
QQQ[151] = "You don\'t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.";
QQQ[152] = "It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.";
QQQ[153] = "Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.";
QQQ[154] = "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it\'s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.";
QQQ[155] = "Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it\'s cowardice.";
QQQ[156] = "Failure is not the only punishment for laziness there is also the success of others.";
QQQ[157] = "We learn something every day, and lots of times it\'s that what we learned the day before was wrong.";
QQQ[158] = "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.";
QQQ[159] = "When one is wrapped up in one\'s self, one makes a very small package.";
QQQ[160] = "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.";
QQQ[161] = "It\'s always darkest before dawn. So if you\'re going to steal your neighbour\'s newspaper, that's the time to do it.";
QQQ[162] = "Don\'t be irreplaceable. If you can\'t be replaced, you can\'t be promoted.";
QQQ[163] = "Always remember that you\'re unique. Just like everyone else.";
QQQ[164] = "Never test the depth of the water with both feet.";
QQQ[165] = "If you think nobody cares if you\'re alive, try missing a couple of loan re-payments.";
QQQ[166] = "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you\'re a mile away and you have their shoes.";
QQQ[167] = "If at first you don\'t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.";
QQQ[168] = "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.";
QQQ[169] = "If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.";
QQQ[170] = "If you always tell the truth, you won\'t have to remember anything.";
QQQ[171] = "Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.";
QQQ[172] = "The Quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.";
QQQ[173] = "A closed mouth gathers no foot.";
QQQ[174] = "Duct tape is like \'The Force\'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.";
QQQ[175] = "There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.";
QQQ[176] = "Generally speaking, you\'re not learning much when your lips are moving.";
QQQ[177] = "Experience is something you don\'t get until just after you need it.";
QQQ[178] = "Never miss a good chance to shut up.";
QQQ[179] = "Character is more easily kept than restored.";
QQQ[180] = "One can sometimes find one\'s destiny on the road one takes to avoid it.";
QQQ[181] = "If you can\'t find your way out of a bad situation look for a way further in.";
QQQ[182] = "Religion is for people who are afraid of hell, spirituality is for those who\'ve been there.";
QQQ[183] = "Responsibility is not given, it\'s taken.";
QQQ[184] = "It\'s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.";
QQQ[185] = "The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.";
QQQ[186] = "Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.";
QQQ[187] = "An eye for an eye will eventually make the whole world blind.";
QQQ[188] = "A goal without a plan is just a wish! Stop wishing.";
QQQ[189] = "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.";
QQQ[190] = "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.";
QQQ[191] = "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.";
QQQ[192] = "Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.";
QQQ[193] = "Danger and delight grow on one stalk.";
QQQ[194] = "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is.";
QQQ[195] = "A brave man may regret a decision, a coward may not make the decision at all.";
QQQ[196] = "Failure is the compost in which we grow success.";
QQQ[197] = "A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.";
QQQ[198] = "Egotism is the anaesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.";
QQQ[199] = "For those of you with a black and white TV, the pink ball is immediately to the right of the blue.";
QQQ[200] = "Why isn\'t the word \'phonetic\' spelt the way it sounds?";
QQQ[201] = "Curiosity was framed, ignorance killed the cat.";
QQQ[202] = "A person with no enemies has done nothing.";
QQQ[203] = "The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.";
QQQ[204] = "It takes less energy to face the truth than it does to run away from it";
QQQ[205] = "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.";
QQQ[206] = "You can\'t solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it.";
QQQ[207] = "The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren\'t paying attention to before.";
QQQ[208] = "Life is like a confused teacher, first she gives the test and then teaches the lesson.";
QQQ[209] = "It is totally illogical to seek happiness if we do nothing to restrain angry, spiteful, and malicious thoughts and emotions.";
QQQ[210] = "Isn\'t it funny how the word \"blame\" ends with \"me\" ?";
QQQ[211] = "Waiting for consensus is a fast track to mediocrity.";
QQQ[212] = "Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens.";
QQQ[213] = "The toughest challenge is to smile with a thousand tears in your eyes.";
QQQ[214] = "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.";
QQQ[215] = "Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life.";
QQQ[216] = "Think of idleness as an unpaid internship in the temple of possibility.";
QQQ[217] = "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.";
QQQ[218] = "If you\'re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.";
QQQ[219] = "The more you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed during war";
QQQ[220] = "If you speak when you are angry you\'ll make the best speech you\'ll ever regret.";
QQQ[221] = "Among individuals, as among nations, respect for the rights of others is peace.";
QQQ[222] = "On a birthday it is good to remember... You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.";
QQQ[223] = "People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.";
QQQ[224] = "Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.";
QQQ[225] = "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.";
QQQ[226] = "I wish I was Bugs Bunny and could outwit anyone and never be perturbed by anything.";
QQQ[227] = "It\'s good to learn from the mistakes of others, since we don\'t have time to make all of them ourselves.";
QQQ[228] = "If you fight, you may lose. If you don\'t fight, you have already lost.";
QQQ[229] = "No matter how high a hill is, there is always a path to its summit.";
QQQ[230] = "He who says it can\'t be done, shouldn\'t interrupt the person doing it.";
QQQ[231] = "Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like... bananas.";
QQQ[232] = "Choose to be a candle that yields light, rather than a mirror that simply reflects it.";
QQQ[233] = "If we are given the opportunity to see someone else'\s pain it is because we have the ability to do something about it.";
QQQ[234] = "The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid.";
QQQ[235] = "Fear not the weapon but the hand that wields it.";
QQQ[236] = "To the world you might be just one person, but to one person you might be the world";
QQQ[237] = "If you ever need a \'State of The Union\'  from your body, go shopping for a wetsuit.";
QQQ[238] = "The truth is, everyone\'s going to hurt you, just find the ones worth suffering for.";
QQQ[239] = "What hurts a victim most is not the cruelty of the oppressor, but the silence of the bystander.";
QQQ[240] = "Three guests come with no appointment, Love... Luck... Death.";
QQQ[241] = "Talent is God given, be humble. Fame is man-given, be grateful. Conceit is self-given, be careful.";
QQQ[242] = "More often than not, anger is actually an indication of weakness rather than of strength.";
QQQ[243] = "Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.";
QQQ[244] = "How is it that one of the most common questions about stainless steel is how to remove the stains it gets?";
QQQ[245] = "If you try to be someone else you\'re always going to be second best.";
QQQ[246] = "The best mirror is an old friend.";
QQQ[247] = "Do I have any regrets? Sure I do, but if I were to give back the regretful experience, I\'d also have to give back the lesson I learned from it.";
QQQ[248] = "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!";
QQQ[249] = "People don\'t realise they are making memories, they just think they\'re having fun.";
QQQ[250] = "Cherish all your happy moments, they make a fine cushion for old age.";
QQQ[251] = "Before I got a pocket in my pyjamas I used to have to hold things while I slept.";
QQQ[252] = "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.";
QQQ[253] = "Everything is pocket size if your bum\'s big enough.";
QQQ[254] = "Did they name oranges before they named carrots?";

var Q = QQQ.length;
var whichQQQ=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
 //var actual = (whichQQQ+2);
function showQQQ()
{
document.write(QQQ[whichQQQ]);
 //document.write(" <font color=\"#E4E4E4\">" + actual + "/" + Q + "</font>");
}
showQQQ();